There is something sweet that we often overlook within a tight-knit family, and that is the way that they commune under one roof and freely come and go from their fortress, their place of refuge. This is particularly seen when adult children live with their parents or when teenagers become licensed to drive.
There is an unspoken permission to come and go as they please.
In Middle-Eastern culture, this freedom to come and go oh so regularly spreads beyond the family and into dear friendships. In Afghan culture, it has a specific name– RAFT-AMAD. If you and I have Raft-Amad, then I will come to your home and expect that you come visit my digs as well. We are participating in mutual friendship, hosting each other, welcome each other into our lives and homes.
It’s the going and the coming. It’s personal relationship.
“I wish your family and I can have this Raft-Amad”, I said recently to some friends of mine.
“Yes, we will keep the raft amad”, they said, blessing me in the process.
They are a family of three from Afghanistan: two well-educated parents and their sweet 3 year old boy. I’m still getting to know their story, but the bits and pieces I’ve heard so far have been amazing. We enjoy swapping information about American and Afghan ways and increasing our cultural-intelligence on both ends. This is the way we all grow relationships, build trust and invest in people, is it not? I love to intentionally invest into my Afghan and Arab brothers and sisters here in Sacramento because by doing so, I learn so much about them but also about myself and my own culture.
Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. And love your neighbor as yourself.”
“Who is my neighbor?”, asked an inquisitive religious leader of Jesus’ day.
The Good Samaritan. You know the story. There was no hero or “better” man. There was a random act of kindness that completely sidestepped a huge cultural gap. There was a neighbor. Apparently loving your neighbor doesn’t actually look like tolerance or small favors, but investments that, like any other relationship, come with vulnerability and risk.
What are the chances you have opportunities for a going and coming sort of relationship with a neighbor of yours (And who is your neighbor, again?) and you’re missing out on its benefits?
If you’re a visually-oriented human being, growing Raft-Amad looks like this: