A Burdened Heart

Today’s chapel at Jessup was the Missions Chapel of the year…promoting the traveling to other countries by students for short term mission trips and allowing God plenty of room to move people’s hearts toward such things.

Of course my heart is burdened for that. I cried; can’t help it. I want to go everywhere they’re going to go- Haiti, South Africa, Kenya, Honduras, Brazil, Amsterdam, Cambodia, Romania, Jamaica. The precious and wise Lord Yahweh has revealed to me that He’s made me flexible for culture and able to serve abroad and I will gladly rejoice in the day He clearly calls me to be and stay abroad as a missionary for Him.

Sometimes I ask, though: “If I am made to flexible and usable in the international missions world, why on earth am I still here where I am?” The wise Lord knows and knew what He is doing, though. I’m here for a reason at this point in time. God will never leave us  hanging at a certain point in life without opportunities to be a light for Him. I think I have a fear of that…a fear of not being useful or effective enough.

Oh Jesus. He is always showing me how wrong I am and thank God for that! I am sitting here in a coffee shop in Roseville doing all my inspirational reading for preaching class and I’m reminded of one of the workers here that I know on a surface level. Many know him as a bit arrogant, a pleasant barista, but not the easiest guy to like. I’m always the first to make those judgment calls and decide I don’t like people. How dare I, but I do.  But this particular fellow, I just hurt for.  And sometimes when I see him and sometimes when I don’t, he comes to my mind and my heart feels heavy. I don’t know squat about his life or his background, but I know that he doesn’t know Jesus and yet is always surrounded by faithful Christians.

I have no relationship with him; at least not enough to be a direct influence in his life, but tonight as he walked in the shop, the Spirit just urged me to pray and I could not help but stop by homework and do that.

To pray for people is definitely not my strength and not the first path I tend to take when the Lord puts people on my heart. That must be why the Spirit continues to lead me to pray for those who are within eyesight, but beyond arm’s reach.

A burdened heart…something I am learning is a quality of a pastor for his flock. Prayer…a powerful thing and a humbling practice. These two put together…. a pathway to being obedient to God and learning how to listen well to Him so when He does will you to act and be a personal influence, you hear Him loud and clear and are more than ready to obey.


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