It’s been quite a while since I posted and I feel as if I should have some fascinating epiphany to share with my readers. But alas, I do not. That which has been going through my head lately is rather bland and neither inspirational nor atrocious.
I can’t say I have even picked out a theme, so forgive me in advance for what rambling may occur.
There is a lot of interesting “stuff” that I’ve been experiencing this summer so far…things that are just different, somehow, from anything before. Perhaps this is because it is my first summer away from my family home in Sac, perhaps it is because I am half in my normal community that I experience during the school year and half doing my own thing, perhaps it is because I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to get a job around here and the work behind that was far more than I could have imagined. All these things are new to me. Summer jobs, housing, and life has been dished up to me on a silver platter in the past and there was hardly any question as to what I would or could participate in, what community I would dwell in, who I would live with, what role I would play at church, etc.
I love it when everything you know well and can anticipate gets tossed up into the air and blown into smithereens…to the point of not knowing it anymore.
When I really start to think about it (something I do only when I sit down to write a blog post), I realize that this sense of newness and unanticipated happenings has stirred a sense of adventure within me that I didn’t know I had. Okay, that’s a lie. Everyone has an inner sense of adventure; it’s about whether or not they choose to let it out.
But sometimes life prohibits you from choosing risk, vulnerability, adventure….or at least you think it prohibits you.
For those of you who have ever done job hunting for a month or more…you know it sucks. For those of who with humble spirits, it sucks that much more. If you want a job, you have to come off as confident: confident in yourself, confident in your abilities and confident in the very skin and personality which the potential boss is seeing right before them.
Can’t say I’m humble….I also can’t say I’m confident. Where does that leave me? Doesn’t matter. The point is that I stepped outside of my realm of known people, known settings, known patterns and places, and went back to the bottom of the food chain, in a sense. I didn’t have to abandon all I knew, but I did have to be willing to be back at square one in new places and situations. I got hired at Jamba Juice…I’ve never worked there. Back to square one. I started going to Metro Calvary for Monday night fellowship–new community, new people. Back to square one. I started living with a family from Origin Church, having to feel out the grounds for how they live life and how I can be of benefit to their family. Back to square one. I started going swing dancing every Friday night like I used to, but this time not with a partner or a boat load of friends. Instead, with one or two girlfriends and tons of new people to meet on the dance floor and go out to eat with afterwards. Exposure. Square one.
But while I tread on new soil in many places, I am still blessed to have familiar settings and faces around to encourage me and support me. And I could not doubt feeling supported because I know those people know me well and care about me well.
The Lord is so faithful to make my life balanced, not always seemingly so in the moment, but always in retrospect.
Hmmm…that’s about all I’ve got for tonight. I have one last question for YOU, though: where and how are you treading on new soil?