Sometimes life gets a bit confusing. You don’t know who you are or what you’re really about. Well, you know, but it’s as if you subtly deny it and pretend you don’t know. And an attitude of such, of such mystery, is both fascinating and terrifying all at the same time.
Do I have inspirational thoughts? Sometimes I feel as though I do. I’m glad I got to share these with the world for four months, but now that I’m back, I’m pretty sure many of those readers will stop caring about what I have to say…in approximately one months or less that is. You have to allow that post-travel vibe to die off slowly.
You know, I was nothing special in Uganda and I’m nothing special back here on home soil. My thoughts, challenges, and conclusions remain the same. Perspective? The same. Opinion? The same. Religious views? The same. I am the same….the same, but different. Isn’t that just so complicated? Not really. We are always changing, as human beings in a dynamic world, but our inner us, the “Emily” God created me to be since day 1 of my life…is still the same.
I’m not going to pretend to understand this concept, because I don’t. This is just what they call processing…just processing folks.
Perhaps now is the time to sidestep the abstract and walk into the concrete world. Because, believe it or not, I do have discernible feelings, concerns and thoughts. One of those is, no doubt, mr. dear muzungu. I’ve stepped back into America and now have left my house. Today during jury duty lunch break, I went walking downtown. I watched people interact with those they know and don’t know. I listened to passing conversations occurring as colleagues walk down the street together. I observed all the different facial expressions, outfits, self-decor, postures. As I observe and study, I think of Muzungu. I wonder what I would think of his disposition were I to see him just passing down the street. Would he look like he was displaced? I wonder how he would feel. How interesting it is how much outward wear and expression says about a person. I am more or less doing the same thing I was doing four months ago when I first entered Uganda.